The official 2009 post

Welcome 2009! I know I've been ridiculous about the blogging, but I have an excuse: I was busy. Whhaaaaa? Busy over the holidays you say? Yes, that's correct. Here's what I've been busy with since I last posted:

• Tricking my parents, driving with a friend's family and showing up in Portland after all my flights were cancelled and I thought I'd be spending Christmas alone in Montana. Surprise!
• Drinking copious amounts of booze.
• Celebrating Christmas with my HS friends by attending the annual cocktail party and the annual Christmas Sweater brunch:

• Shopping even though I don't currently make any money (see above shirt).
• Noticing that although Portland has some attractive men, they all wear pants that are too tight. Fine, maybe my pants are too tight right now, too, but I'm hoping my suffocated legs aren't screaming, "gaaaayyyyyyy!" like theirs are.
• Finishing a bottle of Patron with my cousin at a family dinner party:

• Drinking my first official fishbowl and watching my cousin try to order one without ice:

B: "I want a Long Island fishbowl without ice."

Waitress: "Without ice? Like you want more juice?"

B: "No, not more juice. Less ice."

Waitress: "So you want more booze."

B: "Yes, and no ice."

Waitress: "I can't do that. It's illegal."

B: "That's crap. Just do it."



I love drinking with family...

• Spending NYE with high school friends, my friend Christy from Missoula and my friend E and her sister at our friend's, "The Future's So Bright You Gotta Wear Shades" party. After looking around at the complete LACK of single and attractive men, I was heard screaming across the party for my friend Christy so I could hug her into 2009. If you don't kiss someone on NYE is that bad luck?

• Forcing all my friends to watch the most underrated movie of 2008: "Stepbrothers." WONDERFUL.
• Awkwardly quoting from a movie no one has seen, making me sound crazy: "Dragon, I forgot to ask you: do you like guacamole?" Yaaaaa.
• Flying back to Missoula and immediately rallying for a Goodbye Bar Crawl. My friends sent me out in STYLE. More to come on that.
• Packing, moving and cleaning in 12 hours. And hungover.
• Enduring a MISERABLE and horrifying drive home with my father. The weather couldn't have been worse. My parents were mocking me for putting studded tires on the Jetta and now I hear nothing. Damn straight.

And now I'm back in Portland! And contracting! And interviewing! And generally living in a weird dream trance. I have to stay in this weird dream trance because I'm 28 and living with my parents. No normal person could deal without that without vodka, pills and a constant state of denial.

Happy New Year all!