Thursday, December 4, 2008

Sober City

So I have stomach ulcers. I know, awesome. Maybe caused by stress, more likely caused by massive quantities of so-so wine. Regardless of the cause, I was instructed not to drink for a month. I made it a week.

Then there came some situations where a drink was kind of necessary. Then some where 5 drinks were necessary. And THEN some serious shit went down and now I'm back to consuming ulcer-inducing amounts of booze. I'm kind of at a loss as how to solve this problem. I'm drinking because I'm stressed out, but stress and drinking cause ulcers. Ulcers give me more stress so I drink. See the never ending cycle? And it's the holidays. Who doesn't drink during the holidays?

Today is a new day and I've only been back on the drinking wagon for four days or so. I could totally start the trip to Sober City again. I cooouuullllldddddd... I think I need to talk myself into this...

Pros of not drinking:

1. I'll lose 10 pounds in like a week
2. Ulcers might successfully heal
3. I get to watch the hilarious things my friends do with full clarity
4. I'll save money
5. I can be sober driver for my friends
6. I'll have a lot less bruises
7. I won't have any more moments like the one where I tried to kiss this random guy named Carl at the Iron Horse who seemed kind of into me after I'd had like 20 drinks because I thought I lost my job and then he just awkwardly turned his head and I kissed his cheek and Paige pulled me away quickly before I could do something even worse.

We all know what the con is: Boring Lizzie. And being Boring Lizzie might outweigh all the pros...

5 comments:

divabetty said...

Lizzie there is no possible way you could be boring..drunk..sober..in between. You are fabulous!

btracy said...

I remember the night of "Pro No. 7". I got a memorable phone call.

I also disagree with the Boring Lizzie concept. You have plenty of fun sober, I've seen it!

Brian

Elissa said...

I personally like Drunk Lizzie way better. I kid, I kid! I miss both Drunk AND Sober Lizzie in Portland - will I see you over Christmas??

Paige said...

I love that the stressful event is mine and you're drinking and I'm not.... Remind you of when I ate two snicker bars due to the stress eating :)

Anonymous said...

1. Boring and Lizzie do not go together.

2. Maybe just 3 drinks instead of 20 would be a good step away from the stomach ulcers while still easing the stress.

3. I did miss having Natcheez Flame fun with you over Thanksgiving.

- K